Traditions are sometimes disdained by the young who wonder at the reason and see no value. Historically, the elders of a family or community continued traditions to teach the next generation.
With Mother's Day this past weekend, I remembered that for most of my life, we gave my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother each a corsage to wear to church on Mother's Day. The color depended on whether their mother was alive. Obviously, my great-grandmother, MawMaw's mother, had passed and she wore a white corsage. Until MawMaw's death in 1971, my grandmother wore a red corsage signifying that her mother was alive. And my mother wore a red corsage, as did I. Then, in 2015, at the age of 100, Grandmother died. So, Mother's corsage last year was white for the first time.
It may seem like a meaningless tradition. But, it was a way of honoring mothers, present and gone, and showing that we remember them and their significance in our lives. It seems the first Mother's Day after the loss of a mother or grandmother is especially hard on the family because their absence is felt even more keenly. But, wise is the person who focuses on the good, on the memories and cherishes them, even in the midst of the grief.
Relationships take work. Just because someone is related by blood, doesn't mean they will know or like one another. The older I get, the more I realize that. There are many absent parents and grandparents these days, some because of divorce, others because of busy and/or self-centered lifestyles.
Traditions -- family dinners, birthday celebrations, holidays -- help to connect the ties that bind. They offer opportunities to connect, to listen, to laugh, to love.
Enjoy -- or make -- family traditions.
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Editor's note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas for five of the past six years. The opinions expressed are those of the author. She can be reached at [email protected].
Editorial on 05/11/2016