Have you ever just dismissed someone? I don't mean told them to go away, but totally disregarded them, acted as if they didn't exist?
Have you passed someone on the street who appeared to be homeless and avoided eye contact?
Sometimes, if a situation is uncomfortable or a person seems unconventional, do you just ignore it or them?
I, ruefully, admit I have. It's not the kind of confession I really want to make publicly, but I believe we can each learn from our own, and other's mistakes.
Every person is valuable. Every person has worth. Some people live up to their potential. Some don't. But there is always a possibility for change as long as we have life.
Recently, I was walking my nearly 2-year-old granddaughter outside of a restaurant. She had grown restless and we left the table for others to finish their meal in peace. I started to take her to a bench outside the restaurant to sit down and visit, but there was a homeless man camped there. We turned away. I realize that while she was in my care, she was my primary responsibility, but what would I have done if I weren't walking with a toddler? It prompted a bit of soul searching.
When I was younger, in an effort to be a good Samaritan, I picked up a couple of hitchhikers when traveling to and from college. Ironically, each time I did, the hitchhiker warned me against it. I'll admit I'm hopelessly idealistic and prefer to believe the best in people, but unfortunately, sometimes see the worst.
Once, when traveling with several of my young children, I stopped at a rest stop on the interstate for a picnic. The girls were quite young, I was pregnant and had a toddler (as was usual for many years of my life). Anyway, we were sitting around a table beneath a canopy eating when a man came up and reached over the head of one of my daughters to take some of her food. He was acting strange and I never did learn what was wrong with him, whether it was medical or alcohol-related. It frightened the girls and me and made me terribly aware of our vulnerability. I knew that even if I grabbed the two youngest girls, I couldn't possible fend off the man or protect all of them if he had actually threatened us.
Sadly, things have reached a point in our culture where we must be cautious. We teach children about "stranger danger" and to not take candy from people they don't know. We warn against picking up hitchhikers.
I admit, I have a hard time reconciling my desire to be charitable with my need to be cautious, especially since I usually have a child in my care. I want to set a good example for them to be charitable and consider others, but I want to keep them safe.
A man with whom I used to work is now homeless. I must admit if I ran into him on the street and didn't know who he was, I'd probably avoid him. But, he's a good man, a great writer. He's made choices that put him where he is and all the attempts to help him have failed. But, still, people treating him like a pariah only makes his pain worse.
If we treated all people with the same respect, how much different would our society be?
I don't have the answers, but I believe there are safe ways to be charitable and, when I can't bless a stranger, I can pray for them. I can find safe ways to help my children be charitable. And, I can smile at people I meet, whether stranger or friend.
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Editor's note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas three years in a row. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, four sons-in-law, four grandsons, a granddaughter and another due in August. She can be reached at [email protected].
Editorial on 01/15/2014