Years ago when I was working full-time, carrying around my first-born and expecting my second born, I remember being exhausted. I called my doctor wanting to know what was wrong with me whether I was sleep deprived or battling hormones and he simply said “yes.” Now I laugh at my naiveté. I was pregnant and nursing an infant and not sleeping more than two hours at a time as well as working outside of the home.
“Life’s hard,” someone once said, “but what’s the alternative?”
I don’t know how, or why, but somehow we seem to have developed an attitude that life should be easier and we “deserve” a comfortable, easy life.
In my first decade of marriage, I gave birth to and nursed five children, buried my father after helping my mother and him during a year of battling cancer, buried a nephew and other relatives and moved a few times. I remember reading a magazine article that listed “stresses” and assigned numerical value to them.
The writer said there were “good” and “bad” stresses but all affected the body and emotions. Birth and death, marriage, moves, job changes were all stresses.
Really?
Life involves stresses.
How we respond to it is the key.
Definitely some people seem to have an easier life than others, but appearances can be deceiving.
Some people who have material advantages - a luxurious home, a new car, lovely clothes - may have relationship problems that break their heart.
When we focus on what others have instead of our own blessings, we’ll suffer.
When we focus on what we don’t have, instead of our blessings, we’ll suffer.
A friend once said, “If it weren’t for these children, I’d be a perfect mother.”
So true. And, if it weren’t for your wife or husband, you’d be a perfect spouse. If it weren’t for your demanding parent, you’d be a perfect child.
We can all be “perfect” in our minds, it’s when the “rubber meets the road” so to speak that the conflict comes in. When circumstances - whether in people, traffic, weather - thwart our plans, how do we respond?
Sometimes the inconveniences are minor, we’re late for an appointmentor we planned an outdoor outing and it rains. But other times, it’s major - a loved one has a wreck or is diagnosed with a terminal illness or we receive a call that a relative has died.
How do we respond? We can not fix everything.
(And, yes, I mean “fix.” Although more proper writing may be to say mend, repair, correct, in the South, we tend to “fix” everything and it seems most appropriate here. We mothers love to fix things!)
What we can “fix” is our attitude even though it may not seem like we can.
Sometimes we just have to give ourselves a strong talking-to and adjust our thoughts. Sometimes we need to avoid other negative people. We may need to withdraw for a time and meditate, rest, pray or seek wise counsel, but we can face the battles and trials that come our way with grace if we truly try.
I don’t have all the answers. In fact, the older I become, the more questions I have. But, this I know, relationships are eternal. People are important. All the “stuff” with which we consume ourselves - the race to achieve, careers, fame, fortune, cars, homes, the newest fashions - that is all fading away. It’s temporal.
It’s sad, if you think aboutit, but we spend so much of our time, energy and money on things that will never fulfill us nor love us back and neglect the very ones who can.
Two things are eternal - people and the Word of God. Do you spend your energies on that which is not?
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where you treasure is, there will you heart be also.” Matthew 6:19-21
“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” Isaiah 40:8 (English Standard Version)◊◊◊
Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas three years in a row. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Re cord. She has nine children, four sons-in-law, four grand sons, a granddaughter and another due in August. She can be reached at abeard@ nwaonline.com.
Opinion, Pages 4 on 06/12/2013