Truly past middle age, I have spent a bit of time lately reflecting on the lessons learned in more than a half century of life. I realize all too well that to those older than me (my mother and grandmother are still alive and in their late 70s and 90s respectively), I’m still a young person. But, to those younger, I’m ancient.
(Today, 12.12.12, is my birthday. But, I’m not 12, although I remember turning 12 on the 12th day of the 12th month the same year a fellow school mate turned 11 on the 11th day of the 11th month. Funny how we thought it was fun to play with numbers like that.)
As my youngest son recently said: “You can eat off the seniors menu now.” (Thanks, dear!)
Taught to respect my elders, I naively thought wisdom and age were synonymous and yet have learned that is not true. Wisdom is acquired by choice and experience, by learning from mistakes, from those wiser and from the Lord, the author of wisdom. A young person can be wise and an old person can be foolish.
Years ago, Elisabeth Elliot (author and speaker) said of 60, “What’s this about middle age? How many 120 year old people do youknow?” Using that line of thought, and the current life span in America, I’m well past middle age and yet still don’t feel as old as I though my grandmother was at this age.
As I watch my children grow up, I see too many of my own mistakes in their lives and pray they learn more quickly than I did.
Blessed with good health and strength, I used to be critical of those who were slower, but an injury and the ensuing chronic pain have slowed me down making me more understanding and compassionate.
Life is not fair. Life is not easy. We do ourselves and our children an injustice if we attempt to make a false sense of ease and fairness for them when they’re young. They will come to expect, even demand that, and be disappointed and possibly cynical and bitter. As someone once said: “Life is hard, but what’s the alternative?”
What would I change if I could back up time? On the one hand, I say manythings and I would prefer not to make many, many of the mistakes I’ve made.
But, on the other hand, I’ve learned, I’ve grown from my far too many mistakes.
I hope I’m more patient, more compassionate, more understanding. Oh, I’m probably still too demanding, but more of myself than of anyone else.
I hope I’m teachable and continue to learn all that life has to offer as I continue to mature.
Blessed by a friend with a trip recently to central Eastern Europe, I was reminded me of the great freedoms we enjoy in America, freedoms we too often take for granted and which could too easily be restricted.
In our lifetime, there are still people who suffer under dictatorships and communism.
Hungary was under Communist rule from the end of World War II until 1989.
The stark contrast of ugly concrete buildings of the Communist era and the ornate architecture of the Baroque and Rennaissance eras was a very visible reminder of the extremes under which the Hungarians have lived.
Slovakia, once its own nation, was part of Czechoslovakia and under Communist rule. In 1992-1993, it became a sovereign state once again through the “Velvet Revolution” when the two countries agreed to separate.
Austria and Germany have many reminders of World War II and both suffered under Communism.
The Berlin Wall separated Germany from 1961 until its fall in 1989. In 1989, Hungar dismantled the Iron Curtain and opened the borders.
Here, we drive from state to state without even thinking about it. We don’t have to show our passports or check with border guards.
We are blessed. I’m grateful for the good and the bad and learning to rejoice, even in the trying circumstances.
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Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas three years in a row. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, four sonsin-law, four grandsons and a granddaughter with another grandchild on the way. She can be reached at abeard@ nwaonline.com.
Opinion, Pages 4 on 12/12/2012