"Out of my mind" was coined many years ago as a double entendre -- signifying either that I was writing about whatever came out of my mind or that I was "going out of my mind." At the time, I had many small children. The column for The Benton County Daily Record usually addressed issues concerning parenting.
Now, all of my children are adults and I'm much more reticent on giving parenting advice.
I identify with what Henry Clay Trumbull wrote in his preface to "Hints on Child Training." When asked about his theory on child training, he responded: "Theory? I have no theory in that matter. I had lots of theories before I had any children; but now I do, with fear and trembling, in every case just that which seems to be the better thing for the hour, whether it agrees with any of my old theories or not."
Trumbull, a clergyman, author and editor was the pioneer of the Sunday school movement. The father of eight children, he was the great-grandfather of author Elisabeth Elliot.
Parenting is the greatest privilege, greatest opportunity and most important career. By parenting, we train and teach tomorrow's adults -- citizens, leaders, workers, parents. I'm humbled by the realization that I was afforded such a great privilege and although I didn't always do it well, made many mistakes and failed probably more than I succeeded, all of my children are men and women of integrity, faithful, honest and hard working, in spite of me.
My second daughter turned 38 this week and my eldest will be 40 this year. My "baby" just turned 22. Some of my 16 grandchildren are taller than I am.
The end of one year and beginning of another are conducive to reminiscing, reflecting and planning. As I begin my 18th year back in Pea Ridge and with the newspaper, I recall my first move to Arkansas in 1980 when, fresh out of college, I began working for the Bentonville daily newspaper almost exactly 44 years ago. I did not envision becoming a mother, I was focused on my career.
Growing up in the 1970s, I was probably influenced far more by the feminist movement than I realized. I remember once when very young and discussing various career options with my mother, tentatively questioning whether it was okay to be "just a mother." My mother, almost always supportive, said "Yes, if that's 'all' you want to be, it's okay," but I could probably do both a career and mother.
Ironic, isn't it, what we remember?
It seems there is a depreciation of the role of parents, as we all too often rely on "experts" to train and teach our children -- childcare, school, church, counselors -- and we denigrate our roles as mothers. Few actually train for the role -- reading and studying means and methods as one would for any other career.
When I graduated from college and set out on a career path, I did not contemplate being a parent. I forgot that old conversation with my mother about career choices.
But, life has a way of moving in unexpected ways and God graciously directed my path to marry and have children and become committed to parenting my children to be God-fearing, God-honoring people. I was convicted about the value of parenting and grandparenting and truly place that as the highest priority and privilege I have been afforded.
As more unexpected life events happened, I returned to my original career path -- a role I value and for which I am immensely grateful.
Today, I celebrate more than four decades in journalism and mothering and look forward to what this year holds.
Editor's note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas for several years. She has nine grown children, six sons-in-law, one daughter-in-law and 16 grandchildren. The opinions expressed are those of the author. She can be reached at [email protected].