Commencement.
Graduation.
This is the time of year when families gather for ceremonies signifying the end of one stage of life and the beginning of another.
Commencement is a beginning.
Graduation is an ending -- successfully completing a course. Both are accurate.
This week, there will be kindergarten graduation in Pea Ridge. More than 100 5- and 6-year-olds will be applauded by parents and grandparents as they graduate. They are going into first grade next year.
This past week, there were pre-school graduations, high school graduations, college graduations. Each signifies an end to one stage of life and the beginning of another.
Many, many years ago (in 1971), when my great-grandmother died, I wrote a poem for my grandmother on the passing of her mother, reminding us both that we can not change the past and do not live in the future, but in the present. In retrospect, I'm sure she understood far better than I did, but it was an attempt to give comfort.
In the fall of 2004, I took my first two daughters to college. It was difficult. Not that I didn't want them to move forward, but I had grown accustomed to a certain level of life and that was about to change. I drove several hours to drop them off and then drove home again, crying most of the way. For a while, I was stymied. It was as if I didn't know how to adjust to cooking for fewer, how to schedule life. Over the next 15 years, I've seen my children graduate from kindergarten, high school, college. They've gotten married, had babies, gotten jobs. There has been a lot of change. And with that change for them, has been change for me. I no longer have to quadruple each recipe for daily meals. In fact, I must admit to cooking far less often than I should.
If I refuse to change, to adapt, to grumble and complain about what was or the way things used to be, then I'll become bitter and not only non-productive, but a hindrance. I, too, must change. I must embrace change.
It's been said that parenting is the only job you work yourself out of if you do a good job.
If we are determined to stay in our comfort zone, we will find ourselves in a rut. We won't live life to the fullest of which we are capable.
Graduation, commencement involves change. Change for the student. And, change for the parents.
In the early days of parenting, I worked especially hard at working against my comfort zone, denying myself in order to provide for my child. That included comforting an infant even when I didn't feel well. It meant sleepless nights and growing self-control and disciplines. A friend once said that parenting is for the sanctification of the parent. Honestly, I believe I've learned far more from parenting than I ever taught my children.
And now, when I'm the age my grandmother was when I went to college, I see a more full circle, a bigger picture.
Every graduation is a commencement. Every change brings new adventure.
I would encourage every parent saying "congratulations" to their graduates and "good-bye" as they send them to the next stage (whether college or military or whatever) to embrace the change and be prepared to welcome a new role as you become the parent of an adult.
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Editor's note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas for five of the past six years. She has nine children, five sons-in-law, nine grandsons and three granddaughters. The opinions expressed are those of the author. She can be reached at [email protected].
Editorial on 05/22/2019