Teaching students find appropriate ways to address bullying as a victim or bystander can be a challenge. There are many different ways to teach resilience, patience, understanding and kindness to students. Empathy is a great tool to help bullies, bystanders and victims learn to understand why bullying occurs and approach each interaction with compassion and understanding. For parents, it is important to teach your children about empathy, learning to see the world from another's point of view.
There are a few sign parents can notice as a possible indicator that their child may be experiencing bullying. Such signs could be a significant change in mood, the student may begin to talk about not wanting to go to school or even the idea of dropping out of school, they begin to report a decrease interest in activities they once enjoyed, or may demonstrate an increase in reporting feeling sick on school days. While these signs can be indicators of being bullied, they can also be related to other mental health concerns and even puberty; which is why ongoing communication with your child is essential.
When students report feeling bullied or witnessing another being bullied to parents at home, there are a few helpful strategies parents can use. First, listening. It seems that this is a simple step however; this is the most crucial step. Use active listening skills with your children, such as, putting down any electronic devices, making eye contact, sitting down at their eye level, speaking to them in an area of their comfort and without to many distractions or other people. Sometimes, summarizing what your child is saying will allow the child to correct any misunderstandings and at times allow them to clarify what they "mean."
Sometimes children and teens will use strong language, or extremes in describing events. When information is given in an extreme sense, try to remember it is the child's perception and may not be perceived the same way by a bystander. Yet, giving strong language allows the child to express the importance of their feelings of what is occurring.
Modeling empathy can also be a strong tool for parents, as it allows the child to feel understood. As a child, it can be difficult to confidently report that they felt mistreated if they do not feel understood.
When a child reports being mistreated, affirm that the child has a right to feel safe and included in school and with peers and should report any incidents of bullying to a teacher or school administrator. Encouraging the student to seek out an adult figure within the school to speak to can provide an abundance of support. If parents help educate and affirm that the schools are here to help them, that trust will increase the students feeling safe. At each Pea Ridge school is an assigned SRO (School Resource Officer) who is there to help provide safety and support and is another support for students to reach out to. Reporting incidents is important as it can help protect all students, not just the one reporting and remind the student that they may not be the only one going thru the experience.
Parents, ask your student who they would feel comfortable disclosing their report to and as a parent, follow up with that individual. Parents play such a crucial role in empowering the students to advocate for themselves and help them learn the life skills of how to manage in stressful and uncomfortable situations.
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Editor's note: Amanda Childs is the social worker for Pea Ridge Schools.
Community on 10/21/2015