Differ between tattling and telling

Amanda Childs, social worker Pea Ridge School District
Amanda Childs, social worker Pea Ridge School District

Bullying can happen in many forms: physical, verbal, written, social, and electronic. No matter the form, the results can be severe if not addressed.

Physical forms of bullying can come from hitting, damaging property, shoving, or physical aggression towards another. Verbal, written, and electronic are using words to purposefully insulting to cause another person to feel shame, embarrassmentor isolated from a group of peers. Electronic bullying is posting such comments or pictures of another online or through using electronic devices; this can be done by texting, on instagram, facebook, snap chat and other social media apps and websites. Ultimately the purpose of bullying is, by shaming and embarrassing an individual, that the victim will experience extreme isolation from peers.

A major struggle for parents and adults is distinguishing from when someone is bullying versus simply two young people experiencing conflict. Conflict refers to two individuals having a difference of opinions or differing views. In conflict, individuals feel a level of comfort with disclosing their views and opinions to the other. However, bullying is significantly different in the sense that one party feels no confidence, safety or ability to express their views to the other party. The victim of bullying will typically feel a strong sense of shame and humiliation causing them to feel alone and isolated from others.

Some children and teens struggle with communicating when they are being bullied is due to the fear of "tattling." In schools, social skills education helps teach students the difference between tattling and telling. When an individual is tattling, the intent is to cause the person they are tattling on to get in trouble; however, the alternative, telling is about communicating the need for help when you or someone you know is getting hurt.

Ongoing education to children, teens and parents about how to identify bullying and the avenues used to bully will continue to help school faculty and administrators to better identify supportive solutions for students. At home, parents can continue to educate children and teens to understand appropriate ways to handle conflict, bullying and the differences between tattling and telling. Parents need to be involved in asking children about what is happening at school. Taking time daily to check in with how school is going and how they are getting along with peers can help increase students comfort in communicating any conflict or bullying that may arise.

Community on 10/14/2015