By doing another column about commercial ads, I may be like one of those old platter records where the needle gets stuck in a groove, and keeps playing the same snatch of a song over and over. Last week I was going on about the logic of the ads. This week is a little different, though not totally.
As I have observed, ads in the old days were a bit more likely to focus on the practical virtues of their products, whereas today's ads are more likely to appeal to the feelings we want to feel. For example, old time car ads didn't just laud their car's style, but the car's dependability, its economy, and its durability. Today's ads are selling things like performance and excitement and feeling better about ourselves.
I'm remembering an old Lucille Ball show, in which Lucy got a job doing an ad for a food supplement called Vit-a-Meat-a-Veg-a-Min. The idea was a supplement that supplies you with everything -- vitamins, protein, all the vegetable goodies, and so on -- all in one super-duper product. The name was a mouthful, and, of course Lucy muffed it every time she tried to talk through the commercial, and all the while she was sampling spoonfuls of her product. Apparently like the old Hadacol make-you-feel-better stuff which was popular in the 1950s, the alcohol content in Vitameatavegamin was rather high, and with each round, Lucy was slurring her words and generally messing up. Of course, being a comedy show, Lucy's messing up was the point. But, in Lucy's defense, her wording was much about the health benefits supposedly offered by Vidumgetamummum. Today's ads seem more likely to tout how the product will make you feel 20 years younger, giving you new, super-fantastic energy and vigor, and will leave you assured that now you'll be unstoppable in anything you set out to do.
I am driving a 1999 model pickup, a green Dodge Dakota Sport. It still looks pretty good to me, still drives OK, runs smoothly on all six, and gives me about all the sporty image that I need. But, my little truck is 16 years old. By some standards that is intolerably out-of-date. I notice in today's ads that to be out-of-date is almost a cardinal sin. To be out-of-date is awful, unthinkable; it makes you no better than a doe-doe bird! The Buick ads have a weird slant on old -- the one thing you really don't want in your new car is to have it looking like your Grandpa's car! So, rather than appealing to their grand tradition of making fine cars for over 100 years, and rather than celebrating the enduring prestige quality in their vehicles, they are now assuring us that this is not your Grandpa's Buick. So, because the "new" Buick is not recognizable as one of those old Grandpa-type cars, when you see one now, you won't be going "dum-de-dum-dum," you'll be going "Oh My!" Ok, I don't get it! I tend to think that Buick has long been among the finest cars made, and the old Grandpa cars don't deserve to be put down as though I am a dummy to like some things my Grandpa liked.
But, back to my truck, and the idea of buying a new one. I am impressed by today's prices for new trucks. Why, a man can save up to $10 thousand dollars by buying a new pickup today! Being myself a 1940 model old fellow, I can easily remember when a new pickup would cost between $800 and $1,000 dollars. And that wasn't how much you were saving -- that was how much you were spending! Of course, today I think you would pay between $30,000 and $40,000 in order to save that $10,000. So, wooo, my little green truck is looking better and better.
I learn from today's ads that hauling stuff is not really why men buy trucks. Men buy trucks to make themselves feel more manly! The message, as I read it, is that real men express themselves and show their impact on their world by driving impressive trucks. The way to gain standing with your buddies is to make your truck impressive, and if possible, make it unique and more appealing than theirs. You can't be somebody if you drive a plain, stodgy old truck. You will feel more like a man to be reckoned with if your truck can bounce over the rocks, really tough, can slosh through muddy roads, and can finally drive in home all gleaming and shiny. If you have a great truck, you may even impress your little boy with what a fine Daddy he has, and inspire him to want a great truck someday so he can be a real man, too.
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Editor's note: Jerry Nichols, a native of Pea Ridge, is an award-winning columnist. He can be contacted by e-mail at [email protected], or call 621-1621.
Editorial on 12/09/2015