PEA RIDGE — When the unexpected happens, how one responds indicates the condition of the heart.
I clearly remember the morning I became ill saying, “I don’t have time for this.”
Well, too bad, because not only was I to be inconvenienced for a day or two, it lasted almost two weeks, with a secondary infection and then another infection resulting from the antibiotic.
Funny isn’t it? In this day of instant everything - microwaves, telephones, chat messages, e-mails, etc.
- we expect that after a visit to the doctor, we’ll be well and back at work.
I realize that most viruses or colds last a week to 10 days with or without medicine, so usually just let things run their course and avoid sugar, which kills white blood cells.
Not only was I impatient with myself, but others, sweetly inquiring after my welfare, said “Don’t you think you should go back to the doctor?” As much as I appreciated their concern, what was the doctor to do?
The virus had to run its course and when a secondary infection came on, we started antibiotics, which actually later resulted in another infection altogether.
There has been a lot of illness this winter and I realize my personal situation is probably of no concern to anyone (except my children who had to fend for themselves during the week). But, I tried to consider what I’d learned from the time of forced retirement from life.
Lessons learned:
◊I can’t control - or fix - everything.
◊The world - my family, my work - will go on without me.
◊I’m human and need rest and recuperation.
◊Mind over matter doesn’t always work; sometimes the body demands attention.
◊Learn to receive and allow others to be blessed.
◊I am more than what I do.
One thing I recalled was one of my favorite quotes from Amy Carmichael.
“If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.” Amy Carmichael (1867-1951)
I had to ask myself if Iwas being harsh or unkind or demanding while ill and consider the condition of my heart.
I’ve been inspired, convicted and challenged by reading Amy Carmichael’s words. But, too often, I forget to put flesh and blood on her. It’s easy enough when reading, to idolize someone. But, reality tells me that here was a woman in early 20th century India devoid of the many luxuries we enjoy who dedicated her life to serving others and saving children from temple prostitution. She suffered a fall in 1931 and was nearly bedridden for the remaining 20 years of her life due to her injuries.
Yet, she did not despair, complain to God or give up in discouragement. She continued to read, write, teach, love, pray.
I had a similar injury in 1998 when I tripped over a dog and suffered a triple fracture/dislocation of my ankle. I had eight young children and found myself “handicapped” for six weeks. That, too, was a learning time. At least I had the benefit of modern medicine to help me heal.
I must confess I’m probably more impatient with myself than with others and am not very sympathetic with illness, especially with myself. I usually believe I can just “man up”and push past whatever weakness threatens to slow me down. But, that’s not always true.
Somehow, I had come to believe that self-discipline meant making oneself get up and get going - pushing oneself to work when one felt like resting, foregoing the lazy choices, etc., but, in reality, I recognize that it means more than that.
It means going against the “natural” - what comes easily to me, what I’m wont to do. In other words, if I’m naturally a hard worker, maybe I need discipline to learn to rest. If I’m inclined to be lazy, I need to push myself to work.
And, when I’m ill, I must learn to rest and allow others to bless when they ask.
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Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas three years in a row. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record.
She has nine children, four sons-in-law, four grandsons, a granddaughter and another on the way. She can be reached at [email protected]. The opinions of the writer are her own, and are not necessarily those of The Times.
Opinion, Pages 4 on 01/30/2013