Life’s not fair. Get used to it.
It’s amazing how many times a child will cry out “But, that’s not fair!”
And, in response, a parent will do whatever possible to alleviate the supposed wrong, thereby proliferating the lie that imprisons too many in futile misery.
How many adults are enslaved by a supposed notion that life should be fair?
Life is not fair. God is not fair. God is just, but not fair.
Fair means all things are equal. But, each person is born differently, in different circumstances, with different strengths and weaknesses, talents.
Is it “fair” that one child is born in poverty and another to wealth? Is it “fair” that one child is athletic and another is not? Or that one is blond in a society that treasures dark coloring or one is dark in a society that favors blondes?
Scripture tells us that when we compare ourselves one to another, we are not wise.
“Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves.
But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” 2 Corinthians 10:12 EnglishStandard Version
We can always find someone who is better off than we are and someone who is worse off.
Years ago, a wise young man said that we tend to compare our weaknesses with another person’s strengths. The converse may be true as well.
If I complain that I’m not a good basketball player, but fail to be grateful for my prowess at art or music, I fail to live up to my potential. (The examples can be changed to suit the situation.)
As long as we have our eyes on someone else, we will fail to find contentment and thereby fail to live up to who we were created to be.
Among my nine children, there were those who could be easily wounded with a word or look. There were others who cared not one bit for causing grief to their parents and had to have different consequences for their foolishness or rebellion. If I were to treat each exactly alike, I would definitely fail them. They are not just alike. That doesn’t mean one is better than another,just different.
Too often, in our pride and foolishness, we view one particular personality or skill set as the standard or superior to others. It’s not a new or modern attitude, but has existed since the beginning of human kind. Interestingly, there are many stories in Scripture addressing this, but two come to mind immediately.
In Matthew 20, we’re told a parable of a man who went into town to hire workers for his vineyard.
He hired several on an agreed-upon wage. Later in the day, he hired more;
again, they agreed ahead of time on the wages. This happened several times and the workers he hired at the end of the day were paid the same amount of money as those who had worked all day. Is that fair?
The ones who had worked all day did not think so and complained. But the employer reminded them that each had been paid what was promised and what they themselves had agreed upon.
In 1 Corinthians 12, it is written: “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’” A body is composed of many different parts, so too, a church, a family, a community. Think of the bodyparts that are unseen or uncomely in appearance, they are as needed, maybe more so, than some of the visible or attractive parts.
In a community, what if there were no janitors, garbage collectors, sewage workers? Every job is worthy and needed and contributes to the good of the whole. For one part to disdain another as unworthy or unneeded is foolish.
We should respect one another and our differences.
When we recognize that we ourselves are not the center of the universe and life does not revolve around us, then maybe we can consider ourselves as a valuable part of the whole and give the same value to others who we may not understand.
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Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas three years in a row. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, four sonsin-law, four grandsons, a granddaughter and another due in August. She can be reached at [email protected]. The opinions of the writer are her own, and are not necessarily those of The Times.
Opinion, Pages 4 on 02/13/2013