The days from Thanksgiving to Christmas are busy with holiday preparations and celebrations as well as December birthdays in our family. It seems the calendar is full.
Two of our children/ grandchildren have December birthdays and it’s hard to find a time to gather the entire family for just that without combining it with Christmas.
My only granddaughter was born on my youngest son’s 10th birthday two days after Christmas.
In fact, he spent his 10th birthday with me waiting in a hospital room for her birth. This year, he’ll be 12, she’ll be 2. He lamented that last year we celebrated his birthday four weeks late. I admit, I often feel like a failure as a mother. I have great ideas of having a surprise birthday party for him weeks early. But, then, when trying to gather family for the event, realize there isn’t a day that isn’t already full for at least one of them. I realize that with a large family it’s di◊cult to get everyone together for every event, but we still try.
I’m grateful that all of my married daughters arrange their “in-law” holidays on the same year so that when they are with us, they’re all with us.
This year, my grandmother turns 99 on Dec. 15.
It’s hard to imagine she’s 99. It seems like just yesterday it was her mother, my great-grandmother who was old.
I so clearly remember Grandmother at 50, 60 and 70. Now, my mother is older than that. The only time I ever remember Grandmother complaining about aging was on her 69th birthday. She and my grandfather were going out for dinner and dancing and she said somehow 69 sounded old.
My birthday, too, is in December. In fact, I’m now older than it seems my mother should be. How does that happen? I open my mouth and words I heard both my grandmother and my mother have said come out.
Somehow, when I was young, I thought I’d mature more gracefully and be patient, kind, wise, loving when I was older. I looked at my elders and thought they “had it all together.” Well, they may have, but I don’t. In fact, I’ve recently been sadly convicted by how impatient and un-wise (I know that’s not a word) I am. There are always new lessons to learn, bad habits to break, character to build. But, somehow, life gets in the way.
When I was young and so terribly busy with a nursing baby, a toddler, preschoolers, I looked forward to the day the children could walk, talk and dress themselves. Somehow I thought it would be easier. It wasn’t and isn’t, necessarily. I loved to cook, to sew, to clean, to iron. Once half the children were grown, I went back to work and fi nd that I seldom have time to cook, clean and never to sew. I still believe I can “make” time for the things I want to do, but am usually very unrealistic about that.
We each have 24 hours in a day and we choose how to spend those hours. I’m afraid that I’m not wise enough about that and still hope to become a better time manager.
It’s all too true that “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” because we falsely imagine that life will be easier, better once certain milestones are reached. But, that stage of life has its own peculiar challenges as well. Somehow we must learn to enjoy and live each moment to the fullest without always looking for joy around the corner.
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Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas three years in a row. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, four sons-in-law, fi ve grandsons, a granddaughter and another grandson due in May. She can be reached at [email protected].
Opinion, Pages 4 on 12/04/2013