Do you love your child?
Have you ever hurt, or caused pain, to your child?
Not deliberately, but with the ultimate goal of healing or helping your child?
Does love mean we so protect our beloved that they never su◊er?
Have you ever had to take a splinter out of your child’s hand or foot?
Have you ever had to restrain a toddler to change a dirty diaper?
Have you ever had to grab a running child to prevent him or her from running into the street in front of a vehicle?
Many years ago, one of my children, a particularly gregarious and vocal child, was ill. She had been lying lethargically on the couch, her temperature rising.
A doctor’s visit revealed pneumonia and resulted in a hospital stay. There, a respiratory therapist beat upon her back to break up the mucous that was in her lungs. She cried, yelled, kicked and fought that treatment. Was the therapist being mean to her?
Was I, her mother, being cruel allowing the treatment? No. It was to save her life.
Do you assume that when something painful happens it is a punishment?
Job’s friends thought that thousands of years ago and said so to him. They told him his su◊ering was a direct result of his sin. It wasn’t.
Although much su◊ering is a direct result of sin, not all is. Our finite minds can not always connect the dots to cause and e◊ect in people’s lives and we would be wise to leave judgment to the One alone who knows the beginning from the end.
One of the most important benefits derived from parenting is better recognizing how God deals with me.
Scripture tells us: “For the Lord disciplines those he loves and he punishes each one he accepts as his child,” Hebrews 12:6 (New International Version)
“Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.” Deut. 8:5
“Blessed is the one you discipline, Lord, the one you teach from your law.” Psalm 94:12
“I know, Lord that your laws are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.” Psalm 119:75
“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke,” Prov. 3:11
“Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as afather the son he delights in,” Prov. 3:12
Today, there’s much debate about disciplining children. Many people don’t distinguish between discipline and punishment.
Discipline comes from the word disciple which means to teach. We must teach our children, they need guidance and instruction to succeed in this world.
The truth is, too often parents punish children selfishly. When children disturb our comfort zone, when they embarrass us, when they intrude on our plans, we get angry and lash out. That is NOT discipline; all it breeds is fear and resentment. Parents must learn to unselfi shly discipline their children for the benefit of the children.
When children misbehave, they need to learn that bad choices lead to negative consequences and wise choices reap rewards.
Parents, don’t lie to your children. Don’t tell them if they do something one more time they’ll face a consequence if you’re not prepared to do it. Never punish your child in anger, it hurts the child and your relationship. It’s human, it’s natural to get angry when children disobey, but take time to calm down and consider the ultimate goal which is to raise a child to be a considerate, selfrestrained adult.
And, realize that God always parents you in love.
Read how He parents his children and use His Word for a guide in how to parent your own.
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Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas four years in a row. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, four sonsin-law, four grandsons, a granddaughter and another grandson due next week. She can be reached at abeard@ nwaonline.com.
Opinion, Pages 4 on 08/07/2013