PEA RIDGE — “Practice what you preach.”
“Do as I say but not as I do.”
Child training happens constantly even when the adults in the child’s life don’t intend to be training. Children are always watching.
And, unfortunately, it seems as though they pick up our bad habits and character qualities more quickly than they do our good ones.
I once heard a man say he would never apologize to a child. How sad!
All of us err. Regardless of our age, we make mistakes.
And sometimes we make foolish choices and realize later we’ve made bad decisions.
Children make mistakes.
Unless we adults set the example of apologizing for our mistakes and wrongs, they won’t learn to apologize and that there are possibilities of second chances.
I have failed more than I have succeeded. I have reacted in anger when frustrated and have spoken harshly.
I have also gone to my children, admitted my fault and asked for forgiveness.
Hopefully, our children are learning that failure is not permanent and will learn to forgive themselves and others and be more compassionate people.
In the past 50 years, parenting practices in America have changed drastically.
There was a time when parents realized that parenting involved self-sacrifice and self-denial on the parents’ part and there would be a lot of work involved.
Now, parents seem to be irritated with any interruption in their own schedules and plans and seem to resent to energy, time and money involved in raising children.
We refer to calm natured babies as “good” babies and to high-need babies as “bad” babies. Unfortunately, that attitude seems to carry over into the children’s toddler and pre-school years and many young parents exude a bad attitude towards their children and their needs.
A child is not a toy or a pet or an extension of an adult’s ego. Children have needs which must be met by mature, caring adults. Those basic physical needs include food, sleep and shelter, but are not limited to that. In fact, studies have conclusively proven that children’s emotional needs are paramount.
Each of my children were - and are - different. Some fussed very little and simply wanted to be fed and put down for their naps. Others were high maintenance and required much interaction and attention. Some liked to cuddle, others did not. Twoof my children were colicky.
One of my breast-fed babies threw up if I ate corn.
Another threw up regularly if I ate eggs. (He later was discovered to be allergic to penicillin.)
It seems that we have lost common sense and rely on the “experts,” but the experts change their advise regularly.
In parenting, common sense, unselfishness and learning to “read” your child are essential.
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Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County. A native of Louisiana, she moved to this area in 1980. She has nine children, four sons-inlaw and three grandsons, a granddaughter and another grandson due this year. She can be reached at abeard@ nwaonline.com. The opinions of the writer are his own, and are not necessarily those of The Times.
Opinion, Pages 4 on 05/23/2012