Out of My Mind: It will all be worth it in the end

— For many years I wrote a column entitled Out of Mind for the Benton County Daily Democrat (which became the Benton County Daily Record in 1988). The title was intended to be a double entendre - meaning both whatever comes “out of my mind” or that I was going “out of my mind” because I had four children 4 years of age and younger.

Funny, but now, that doesn’t seem all that demanding. Ironically, I had far more advice about parenting than I do now and I have more children (and grandchildren) now. Now, I have nine children ages 10 to 28, four of them are married, three of them areparents themselves, and only two are still under 18.

They are each very unique individuals and I’m grateful to have been honored to be their mother.

Years ago, I heard this quote: “Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.”

It’s relatively easy to advise when not in the trenches, but reality has a way of changing glibanswers into profound questions and even more obtuse answers. At one point, there were four teenage girls in our home. But, teens become adults who know everything and then move on and establish their own homes and form their own questions, develop their own answers.

For more than 30 years, I’ve thought that life would get back to normal after various events. After the baby is born, after she learns to walk, after she’s potty trained, after she learns to talk ... after she becomes a teen-ager, after she’s married. Somewhere along the way, life kept happening while we were waiting for normal.

Life is full of ups and downs. That baby you adore will grow up and challenge your authority and wisdom and love. You may even be tempted to dislike him or her. But it’s not about you!

Children don’t ask to be born. We parents owe then unconditional love, selfless discipline and teaching and preparation for adulthood.

It’s the hardest job there is, but parenting is worth it in the end. (At least that’s what I keep telling myself.)◊◊◊

Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County.

Opinion, Pages 4 on 08/29/2012