When I was young, it seemed that all women 30 and older had the same hair styles. They went to the beauty parlor once a week and had their hair set. They never wore blue jeans. They seemed mature and seemed to “have all the answers.”
In 1990, I traveled to Chattanooga, Tenn., with three women all about 10 years older than I was. I had four children from 1- to 4-years of age. They each had teenaged children. I truly thought they “had it all together” and “had all the answers.”
Humbly, they each assured me they did not. But, I didn’t believe them.
Now, I am older than they were then.
We were together recently at the funeral of one of us. It was a sweet time of remembering and realizing that no matter how old we get, we never know it all. There are always more lessons to learn.
Now, my children range from 9 to 26. But, I’ll be the first to admit I know less now than I did 20 years ago.
“Parenting is for the sanctification of the parents,” said Cal Beisner, the son of the former editors of this paper. “The children can get sanctified when they growup.”
Although he said it tongue in cheek, I do believe there are lessons learned best in parenting that we truly don’t learn many other ways. In parenting, there are ample opportunities to deny yourself and live for another. Our wills are crossed by those we love. We learn patience and compassion and self-discipline.
Now, as my children so sweetly like to say, I’m the age of the elder children’s peers’ grandmothers. I hope I’ve learned much in the last 30 years, but I realize I still have much to learn.
Recently, I enjoyed my yearly reunion with childhood friends. Annually anywhere from four to seven of us who grew up together in Shreveport, La., meet in Dallas at a friend’s house and enjoy the weekend together.
How different our reunion was - thanks to technology - that the ones our parents and grandparents had. Andyet, it was similar in that we had a shared history and visited about our pasts and present. Really, people don’t change, just the accoutrements do.
There we sat - five women 50 years of age and older - around the glasstop breakfast room table.
Two had iPhones. All had “smart” phones. One was on a MacBook Pro, another on an AirMac, and another on an older Macintosh laptop computer.
As we connected iPhones and digital cameras to the computers and downloaded photographs, we laughed about how we - nearly the age we remember our grandmothers being - were sitting there fascinated with technology and teaching one another.
Photographs were transferred to the computer;
edited and then placed in digital photo albums. A slide show was made and set to music. Again, we laughed remembering how difficult and time consuming it was to make slide shows.
It was our annual “girls’ weekend.” Together we had managed to make it through high school, college, marriages, babies, divorcesand death. We had different, and yet similar stories.
And, yet ours was also the story of many women across America.
Between us, we had experienced many of the trials and joys of American women in the 21st century.
One had lost a husband in a terrible car crash.
Several had experienced divorced.
Some were grandparents.
One had a child devastated by drug use.
Some had buried loved ones. Some struggled with elderly parents and poor health.
We laughed and cried and shared.
How special friendship is in life. It provides comfort and encouragement in times of trial. It provides someone with whom to rejoice when times are good.
I’m grateful for friends and, yes, even for technology.◊◊◊
Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County. A native of Louisiana, she moved to this area in 1980.
She has nine children, one grandson and another grandson due in April. She can be reached at [email protected].
Opinion, Pages 4 on 01/26/2011