Now & Then | Observations on 50 years of marriage

— My wife Nancy and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary on Saturday, Jan. 8. We had a great turnout of friends at the afternoon reception, and we thank everyone for their friendship, cards and good wishes and for celebrating with us.

What I am contemplating for this article that may be risky - venturing some observations about being married for 50 years.

My experience of living for 70 years has taught me that one treads on shaky ground if he starts thinking he knows all about a subject like marriage. But, even our less-than-perfect observations may be worth something.

One thing I have observed is that we imperfect people do make mistakes along the way, but with the resolve to keep loving and caring, we ultimately get it right. If we had it to do over again, I might suggest doing a thing or two differently at our wedding.

We had a church wedding, but no reception. I have come to like receptions.

The 50th wedding anniversary reception was a really enjoyable time. I do remember avoiding one minor potential calamity at our wedding. In 1961, the church had a floor furnace at exactly the spot where the couple stood to do the vows. If the groom fumbled the wedding ring, it would drop into the furnace. Caution proved successful. We exchanged rings without a fumble.

Wedding receptions not only give family and friends time and opportunity to celebrate with the couple and to share good wishes for the future; they also allow the groom’s friends time to decorate the getaway car. At this point, I succeeded in hiding the car away from the decorations crew, having my brother deliver it without any shaving cream designs or messages. I have regretted that.

To foil such a time-honored wedding tradition seems almost sacrilegious to me now. I’m sure it frustrated my friends, and robbed them of adding their flourishes to our send-off.

I guess I also wasn’t very imaginative in our honeymoon plans back in 1961.

We made a wedding trip to Noel, Mo. Although Noel was something of a resort town back then, a cruise to the Bahamas it was not. In the evening we went out for hamburgers at a nearby drive-in in Noel. The second day we traveled on to Cassville, Mo., sightseeing across McDonald and Barry counties, Mo. Some people might not think such a honeymoon drive could be interesting, but we enjoyed the time, and some of the funny things that happened on the way are still funny. When we rented a room for the night in Cassville, the lady at the motel office told me she liked to take pictures of all her honeymoon couples. I told her that would be fine;

but she never showed up to snap a picture. When I asked her next day if she wanted to do the picture, she first couldn’t find the camera, then there was no film for it. Naive me finally realized it was just her way of checking if we were legitimate.

For the first several years we didn’t have money for expensive outings or fine dining. For anniversaries we would go out to Kentucky Fried Chicken. Inlater years, we could afford fancier places, but at times we have continued dining out at KFC just for old times’ sake. I grew up regarding fried chicken as one of life’s great delicacies. My wife is a fine cook and has always made great fried chicken. That may be one reason we have made it pretty well for 50 years. Right now we are experimenting with chicken prepared in more heart-healthy ways. It isn’t the same, but with a bit of imagination, the grilled chicken alternatives are right good. This year we dined out at Colton’s. That was good, too.

We initially planned to get married in June of 1961. Then we switched to January. The Jan. 8 anniversary fits in with Christmas and our Jan.

4 birthdays. That invites making one gift suffice for all three. Which is most romantic - to do one nice gift to cover Christmas, birthday and anniversary?

Or to do three smaller gifts tailored to each? The only thing Nancy ever specified about gifts was that I should not buy her a kitchen appliance for a romantic occasion. I learned, though, that about the time you get your wife’s preferences figured out, they can unexpectedly change.

One year, she asked me for a certain kind of garden hoe for Mothers Day. I still haven’t fathomed how that one figured into the romantic equation. We still have that romantic garden hoe.

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Community, Pages 5 on 01/12/2011